Today is the first day. its not really a new start, more of a return to a old friend. Things almost always seem easier to deal with and easier to make sense of when they are written, and more often than not i feel better when i am the one doing the writing. Its an expresion of hope, fear, love, concern, anger and a million more emotions that need an out-let.
I have recently grown a back bone. I know for most people that know me well, this seems an impossible feet, but i assure you it happened one day, very breifly and then it passed. Almost like a 24 hour flu....courage, self confidence, and a purpose hit me like a brick wall and a back bone was granted to me. I was tired of being thrown around my office like a grag doll. Taught to do everything, given all the odd jobs that could be found, a new boss every other day, and a job discription that seems to re-write itself weekly to fit what "new and improved" things they had found for me to do. After being offered a Full-time position with a raise and a gaurented job duty i was exstatic and thinking to myself that i was finally being noticed for all the good i was doing. Silly me. The following day i was informed that the job i had previously been offered was being re-voked and given to someone from outside. I was to go back to my "old odd job".
I consider myself to be good at what i do. dependable and well liked. I was doing more than i was being paid for, and picking up co-workers slack for things i knew they would be fired without doing. I was not being appreciated and after being publicly humiliated and turned down for a job i deserved...the back bone came up from the dust of tears i tried desperatly to hide at work. Within the week i had myself an interview with a new job and i was given a higher position with a very nice raise. I was exstatic once again. i did it all on my own and i did it for myself. Nothing feels better than to be offered a job you know you deserve after working for it all on your own.
I have been working in a Beautiful office with wonderful doctors eager to teach, an office manager that knows how to manages, and support staff that does just that. Supports each other. I come home from work with a smile on my face. I sleep better, i feel better and im appreciated.
